To recognize that someone you love has hurt you is not to reject that person, but to welcome them as a human being. It is accepting your own suffering, recognizing the repercussions and finally being able to get rid of it. These people are often unaware of the repercussions of their words or behavior, since it comes from their own flaw or pain. As long as things are not made conscious for one as for the other, then these pains will remain. "A child who is injured in his integrity does not cease loving his parents, he ceases to love himself." Jesper Juul
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